2 Keys To Boosting Your Inner Confidence

#confidence #personalgrowth Aug 03, 2021

I've been coaching for a while now, and the biggest thing I've learned - both for myself and for my clients - is that inner confidence is the key to it all.

There are all kinds of strategies, ways of thinking, behavior patterns, and practical tips for improving your life and feeling better about yourself. Still, they're all redundant if the foundation isn't there. That foundation is the real you, that profound deep-down truth of who you believe you are—the internal dialogue of what you say about yourself when you're by yourself. The trick is that it takes confidence to find that and to bring out who you are – here are the two keys to real inner confidence.

 1. Get To Know Your Story

Personal stories are a real passion of mine, and I often get carried away with myself when I talk about their power. I make no apology for that, though – they're one of the most important things you can know about yourself and are vital in getting genuine inner confidence. Your stories are deeply ingrained inside you, right at the very core of who you are, and they're the building blocks, the foundations, and cornerstones of how you show up in the world. You use stories to give meaning to the world and express what's most important to you and could include things like beliefs, progress, family, fun, nature, achievement, or freedom.

Why do some people and situations leave you feeling angry, frustrated, demotivated, or deflated? It's because one or more of your stories of value is being denied, suppressed, or repressed – and we experience that as a negative experience because it denies a fundamental piece of who you believe you are. Do you know those times when you've felt alive, amazing, or buzzing? Those are the times when one or with intention to them.

Your story is all yours, and no matter what happens, no one can ever take that away. You can have absolute confidence in it because they're there all the time, just waiting for you to notice and use them. When you get to know your stories, you can start making choices and aligning your life around them. It's so simple and feels amazing because all that really means is that you're allowing who you are to live in the real world.

What empowering story do you want to start telling yourself?

What story do you want the world to see you live out?

How would you like others to read your story after your gone? 

2. Exercise the Muscle

Confidence is a muscle, and like any muscle, you need to exercise it so that it doesn't shrink and waste away. Use it or lose it, right? The problem is that unlike your biceps or glutes, which tend to stay in the same place, your confidence muscle can be harder to find. So how do you develop your biceps or firm up your glutes? By doing exercises designed to work that muscle over a period of time until you see the results, you were looking for.

It's just the same with confidence. Let's say that you're the kind of person that doesn't take many risks, the type of person who goes through each day doing what needs to be done and doing it well, but not really stretching yourself. You might talk yourself out of doing something because it's too scary or because you think to yourself, 'I'm not good enough,' 'that's not who I am' or 'I don't really want it anyway.' (which btw are all disempowering stories) That kind of person lives within what they know and what keeps them safe and comfortable. The fewer risks they take, the less confident they need to be, and so the less confident they become. They are exercising their default safety-loving comfort muscle!

To work your confidence muscle, you need to be prepared to take risks – big or small. You need to be willing to stretch yourself in an unfamiliar direction, outside of your perceived comfort zone, to try something new or try something in a slightly different way. You need to open yourself up to the possibilities around you and push yourself to expand your capacity and increase what you know, what you do, and who you are. The more open you are to risk, opportunity, and possibility, the more confident you need to be, and so the more confidence you'll develop. That's your confidence muscle – the question is, what are you going to do to exercise it?"

The good news is exercising the muscle is just practice. Go try something really small. I'm talking, barely dipping your toe in the pool of discomfort.

See, that wasn't so bad, was it?

You really are stronger than you think.

That fear really is overhyped, isn't it?

It feels good, too, doesn't it?

Now go a little bit further. Try a little bit harder. Take one step closer to your fear. AND REPEAT.

 That's how you build confidence by exercising that one next decision to become stronger. Confidence is built through practice and exercise. It won't happen, theoretically, with one big decision in your head. It's built through action.

Let me know how what small steps you took this week to build your confidence. Then, post it on social media and tag me in it @robbydangelo.

To your abundance,

 Robby D

Are you ready to unlock the life you were meant to live and create a legacy of abundance!


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